Sunday, August 5, 2007

Got the Munchies???

I had a strange weekend. I had to work Saturday and Sunday which is no big deal. But a few things happened and I will try to keep it short without a huge book written here. First of all Swedes go out like crazy on Friday and Saturday nights. It's not like at home in the USA where you go home at 2 or 3 am..these people are out till maybe 6am.

So I walk to the tram station early (yesterday) Saturday morning and see evidence of the party that went on throughout the whole city. Mind you that the tram station here starts out least the one near my house when I see where someone has thrown up all over the place it makes me gag, and even worse when I smell it because the smell has nowhere to go because we are underground..blech! and spit..everywhere..and beer bottles...fucking pigs... Oh yeah and not to mention the city looks like the town dump after everyone goes out..litterally there is trash all over the streets!!! It does get cleaned up Sunday mornings. Ends up looking like nothing happened.

Anways...I just try not to move and wait for the tram to come. Saturday (yesterday) morning I get into central and I get off to catch a different tram to work. I hear banging and apparently there is a woman who can't get out of the public toilet..we think she is trapped, locked in.. I learned this morning that she was just drunk and couldn't figure out how to open the damn door from the inside..Jesus! and this was about 545am...

So today at the tram stop this morning underground, there was the one old guy who lives nearby me who tried to help that drunk girl.. I asked if she was OK, but his english was not good. I tried he walks away from me...we are the only two there..its a little creepy underground alone at 530am...he comes back and holds out his hand and asks if I want a piece of candy.. I said yes thank you..he told me it was English he said this...ok..well wait..its the same in I look at it..pop it in my mouth and look at the packet..its not chocolate..its coffee flavored..yummy! When I see the Arabic writing, I ask him "Var är det från?"(Where is it from?)..he says back to me "Turkiet, men jag är inte från Turkiet, jag är från Iran!"(Turkey, but I am not from Turkey, I am from Iran!)..ok...I never thought he was from Turkey but..OK whatever. The candy is Turkish, I get it....he put his headphones back on,walked to the other end and sung his music out loud so it echoed throughout the tunnel...I just smiled so big. Funny guy.

Anyways, on with it...I get to central this morning...and while I wait there, also are the two African men who also tried to help the girl who was stuck....they of course spoke English and then they tried Swedish on me because they seen me there yesterday, and I gave them 5:- kronor to get the door unlock....that's money by the way if you didn't know...but then when I didn't understand, they realized I wasn't a we talk and laugh about the dumb girl...I get on my next tram and the one guy comes along also...he works near me and proceeds to tell me he hates learning Swedish because it is hard and he hates Sweden because nobody smiles or says hi for the heck of it like Africans and Americans do....and all they want to do is dance and drink all weekend.. I laughed when I seen a fucked up little dance from this guy to show me...jeez!

So he tells me that America is real is the rest of the world but this guy was entertaining..apparently EVERYONE has guns in the USA...not true..a lot of people maybe but not everyone..NOT ME! though I don't live in the USA tells me when we get off at our stop that he works a black mans job..uhh I act stupid...he said us white people get the good jobs...I don't know where he gets that idea from because I work 10 and a half hours WITHOUT a break!!! That's illegal here in Sweden btw..shit...but I deal with tell him this.....We part ways..he goes one direction and I go the other..... In fact he works at the grocery store down the street from where I work..I got all kinds of useless info from this guy, like he is from Cameroon in Africa and that its next to Nigeria and that they play football against each other....

I go to work..its an easy Sunday like no other, or so I think! Kalle says something about a strange customer order and he will take over cooking for me..OK!! but I didn't get it till he physically pointed out that this guy..the guy who was sitting at the table next to where I was cooking with his two buddies, ordered 20!!!!!!!!!! I said 20 extra bacon..what?? ok so one bacon is five do the math..that's 100 pieces of bacon there...this was after he already ate 4 pancakes..American pancakes mind you..they are fluffy and thick, not like crepes.....I said what??

So because of this guy, everyone else in the place had to wait 45 minutes to get their food because his damn bacon had to be cooked and it took forever!! The cold bacon cools down the grill plate we cook on...I thought it was funny and I just laughed the whole time..and I asked they guy if he could really eat all that...2 plates stacked very high!! and he said 'Watch me!' and so I did here and there just laughing.. I asked his friend if he wanted me to call an ambulance. I thought for sure he'd have a heart attack or puke his guts out..but there he sat eating all of that bacon like crazy..this guy was about 6 foot tall and skinny..maybe 24 years old...he looked sober and everything.....I also asked him if he wanted something More to drink coz all he had was that empty coffee cup....he said no, he was just fine. Can you say 'PUKE?'

It took him only maybe 8 to 10 minutes to eat all of that..he shovelled all of it in! THEN!..oh shit I was dying laughing..then...he ordered 4 more pancakes with chocolate this time!!..eww...then I turned to Kalle and said.. "Do you think he's got the munchies?"..hehe...We cracked up over that...It's probably true though, who really eats like that? Sweden doesn't have food eating's not that!

So eventually we caught up with all the orders and everyone in the place got fed...the bacon-boy walked out the door without exploding and we shut the place down for the day.... I walked on my way towards Hagakyrkan.....I seen my teacher, who was riding a bike, I had him for Swedish classes before summer.....we talked and then I started on again towards the tram stop ... I get to Brunnsparken and I see Kemel who was in my class also, walking down the street with his friend.....I wave to him, he waves stop Centralstationen....Nima gets on and says hi..also from my class...we spoke and I told him that I seen my friend Eliana since she came back from Jordan and how big her tummy is getting from pregnancy, he tells me he hates her..well she hates him too, he just doesn't know it......

He stays on the tram one extra stop so we can talk more, then has to go backwards one stop to get was just an eventful strange weekend! I have Monday and Tuesday off and its going to be nice out..waaaaaa fucking hoo!


jim said...

ok kim,i laughed the whole time reading some bloggzz here ,oh yeah, ya big bro has to admitt ,you pour your heart into it.and funny the way u construct it. ahhhhhhhhhha i gonna do a bloger,just i freakin prob! yeah my password for email for google yes i have1 BUTrememberin wher the heck the paper is with all info on it lmao!!
anyhow it will happen just dont know what day.i hope video is able to b posted though on here.i know the rantin vids again.ok u prolly thinkin will i just stay away from vid for 1 day! ANSWER: NO WAY U GOTA BE FUKIN KIDIN ME EHHH. HA HA HE HE! WHY U THINK IM DIEIN FOR ADOBE, NO NOT GOIN TO MY GRAVE DIEING STUFF BUT YOU KNOW WHAT TICKS HERE :p

Maja said...

what a weekend. Everyone goes mental in iceland on friday and saturday nights as well.

Old Knudsen said...

Saturday is always fight night in the UK, drunk and angry.
I can't believe the people you just talk to that you don't know, I hardly talk to those I do know.