Saturday, May 8, 2010

Tomorrow is Mothers Day

This is going to be the first year for me without my mom.
In fact she has only been gone 7 months and I miss her terribly.
I always wondered what I would do without her in my life, and I would come up blank.
It seemed to me that there was no life after her.

Somehow I had managed to keep going, and everyday I am still going.
I know she is looking down from above, and I know she sees how much I love her still.
It's hard enough to write this without crying, and I hope and pray that I didn't take advantage of the fact that I had her while she was still alive. Because now I have nothing but memories and a few photos.

The memories I have are great. She was the best mom ever. She never judged me when I moved to another country. She never yelled at me when I did something stupid or told me that I was acting irrationally. She just stood by me and helped me move my life along, even when I was making bad decisions.
She made me laugh.
We cried together over silly movies.
We watched baseball together and had the best of times.

The day before she died she was still mom, still wanting to help, still apologizing for things she couldn't do on her own.

She was a fighter.

The one thing I can only hope and aspire to be, is to be a mother just like her.
I love you and Happy Mothers Day mom, wherever you are.


SylverX said...

Hi Kim,
I came to check on you and found your post. I just want to give you a smile and a virtual ((((HUG)))). Keep on smiling and knowing that she's watching from above. :) Everything'll be OK then.

Ms. Kimba said...

Thanks Emma!
Hope your doing good. I miss everyone and say hi to your mom for me.

sheknitupthat said...

Happy mother's day yourself, and I'm sure your mother would appreciate this blog post :)